PROBLEMS
- Complain about not giving enough time.
- The significant difference in ideas/opinions on how to deal with difficult situations.
- Unsupportive/Ignorant/possessive behavior.
- Reliance on social media to regulate the relationship.
- Depression because of a long-distance relationship.
- Lack of trust/loyalty.
- Jealousy because of his/her work and frank behavior with others.
SOLUTIONS
1. Complain about not giving enough time
Most of the time you will find out that he/she is just busy with their work. Let them do their work. Do not disturb them. They are developing their individual identity. Allow them to do that. You will notice that whenever you yourself are busy with something, you too tend to do the same. The only difference is that he/she doesn’t show their feelings whilst you remain busy. If you give them personal space, they certainly would do better in their individual life and would want to come back to you sooner than later. Be patient and wait for your turn to get attention from them.
They will come back to you if your love for them is pure and loyal. Keep yourself busy with other matters and do not share it with him/her. If you show your loneliness to him/her, they might get irritated. Let them ask you what’s wrong when they feel the need to ask. Do the same for them. Remember Love never dies no matter what.
2. The significant difference in idea/opinions on how to deal with difficult situations
Men and Women, both are completely different from each other. They have their own individual thoughts/opinion on the same topic. There might be few thoughts/opinions which shall be common to both but certainly not all of them. Always respect this difference. These differences are necessary and hence are required to maintain the essence of a relationship.
You see like poles repulse each other with all their might. So try to understand his/her thoughts and respect them. Always keep one thing in your mind that the opposite sex is completely different from you. During difficult times, try to talk to them and listen to what they have to say carefully. Only post a healthy discussion, you can hope to resolve the issues. In adversity, you have to be their close friend more than being just their partner.
3. Unsupportive/ignorant/possessive behavior
We use both of these two to control the relationship. We naively try to change our partner’s lifestyle only to find out that it was a grave mistake and him/she has grown indifferent to us. Irritation and frustration take place of once beautiful feelings. We get shocked and sad at the demise of our optimistic hopes to change our partner to what we wanted them to be. But we forget that we fell in love with them when they were nothing but themselves.
This consuming feeling of changing our partner into someone who we like to eventually let the relationship down. Questions of self-doubt creep in, taunting us about what have we ended up in. At the beginning of the relationship, we were strangers. Our curious mind naturally tried to understand these newly found changes in the way we feel about our partner. Time passed by. Slowly we got used to them and our original character rose up again.
When it realized changes in our life, it started retaliating/protesting and resisted acceptance of the new. The result of this resistance developed unreasonable behavior in us. But the solution to overcome this situation lies in itself. Simply refuse to exercise your right/privilege over your Think twice before talking/texting them. Know your limitations and keep yourself reminded of them.
4. Reliance on social media to regulate the relationship
Another burning issue although useless yet very predominant is the extent of the presence of social media in our lives. One should understand that social media is just a virtual world. A person is free to share their opinion/thoughts there. Don’t relate opinions and actions shown in the virtual world with your real life.
Sometimes I see that he/she becomes sad/depressed when their partner gets an unknown friend request or message on social media. This is utterly ridiculous. If they find new friends, that doesn’t mean less for you but more for them. You should realize that you can’t control anything in this world but yourself. You should maintain your unfaltering faith in your partner. Try making these uncomfortable situations funny and clear your doubts tactfully.
5. Depression because of a long-distance relationship
Lack of intimacy caused due to them being physically distant harms their sexual life irreversibly. The foremost thing we need to understand is that we humans fear to lose our beloved people the most regardless of the distance between us. That daunting fear of loss naturally forces us to feel bad for ourselves in a case of long-distance relationships. Unless it’s beyond repair we must make efforts to face the negativity ourselves and then share it with our loved ones.
One should let their partner know when these problems causing feelings arise to escape hurtful notions later. One thing to keep in mind is that in a healthy relationship, none of the two should knowingly create situations where these negative feelings take birth. Don’t repress your problems, instead express it with clarity maintaining a calm posture all along. Long-distance relationship has its own beauty.
If the couple keeps the bar of loyalty and loves high, then it would turn into a wonderful experience for both of them. Separation can be unbearable to the start but it can get comforting and amazing too once it’s deep magical feeling is understood. You shall cross every limit of being in love and experience what we read in legendary never forgotten love stories.
Although sex can be a pill for depression it can’t give your soul ultimate satisfaction. The satisfaction of being in the arms of your loved one and feeling safe with no guilt is the ultimate one not the act of sex. Long-distance relationships are like desserts. You have to pay attention to the ingredients that you choose to attain perfection and then be patient to enjoy it with soul-satisfying joy.
6. Lack of trust/loyalty
The textbook definition of trust is “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something” but why am I talking about it. It is because in any kind of relationship trust and loyalty play a vital role.
Whenever we form a relationship with someone, the first thing we expect from them is trust and loyalty and display the same ourselves. When we build an environment that breeds trust and confidence that come what may, there would always be one faithful and supportive person to pick us up when we are down emotionally. We develop ourselves positively by this confidence and it holds high importance in a relationship. The quality of an Intimate relation is judged by the honesty and openness shown by the couple.
The conscious decision of choosing the person knowing fully about the things shared by them with us and believing them defines the integrity of the relationship. Trust builds in an atmosphere of security and safety. It gives us balance and stability in life. If once mistrust is born between a couple, it destroys this once thought as unshakable confidence away slowly.
Trust can also be destroyed by one partner’s indifference, criticality, contempt, and rejection, both overt and covert. The cycle of hurting each other, either verbally or physically, and then one rejecting the other, creates the feeling of fear which dithers trust away. Also trying to control your partner’s every move is another form of mistrust, so make sure you’re not possessively clinging on them. That will only push him or her away.
When you trust someone, it means you trust yourself too, which fosters healthier relationships in the long run. I would suggest four important contents required for rebuilding trust and loyalty. First are Honesty and Integrity. Second is stop being suspicious. The third is Understanding. Fourth is Direct communication.
7. Jealousy because of him/her work and frank behavior with others
what is work? Work is an activity involving mental and physical efforts taken to achieve a particular result. When we gaze upon our relationships we notice that it also demands this work with its certain requirements and criteria of its own. Give and take of attention is a hidden part of a relationship.
Once one partner diverts his/her attention and time for work, naturally their partner will feel skated over and leeway has been occupied by jealousy and depression. One automatically forgets the demands work has and can be indifferent and contradicting. One doesn’t need to bear the other’s expectations on their shoulders while working. Have you ever noticed your partner doing the same work that you do too but being different in any way than yours? It’s all the same friends.
You have to understand the nature of your partner’s attitude towards work. For example, If your partner is in show business then it’s mandatory that he/she has to remain open-minded. You can’t complain that they are not giving you the attention that you expect from them because they are busy with their colleagues.
It is their job. You can’t change the nature of their job. You should rather concentrate on your own work. If you have time to kill and your partner is occupied with their work then call your long lost friends or do activities that will divert your jealousy and pettiness into something positive and plan something that you both can enjoy after they get free.
Please share this blog to let my thoughts and views to simplify some unwanted yet natural problems in our life so that an individual can get some help to understand their problems. I hope you like my words. Comments are invited. Thank YOU. 🙂
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